?Even in a galaxy far far away, the Star Wars universe wasn’t immune to the contagious love that us Earthlings have for sport.
Be it Podracing from The Phantom Menace or an NFL-style game with robots from Attack of the Clones, even our favourite Jedi and Sith needed some downtime in between trying to bring balance to the force.
So while football might not even exist in George Lucas’ universe, here are some of the most iconic characters from the series and which teams they (probably) would have supported.
May the 4th be with you.
Obi-Wan Kenobi – FC Barcelona
What’s Barcelona’s biggest flaw? There isn’t one, is there?
They play football the right way, they bring young players through their system the right way, they’re ridiculously successful and everyone (yes, everyone) has a soft spot for the Catalan giants.
Even if you don’t want to admit it, Obi-Wan Kenobi is your favourite Star Wars character. He’s the one that the Jedi Council send one every important mission and he always comes back as the victor, yet he still has time to teach the galaxy’s most promising youngling.
Més que un Jedi.
Mace Windu – ACF Fiorentina
Now I know what you’re thinking, “they’ve only made Mace Windo a Fiorentina fan because he has a purple lightsaber.”
And guess what, you’re right, so shall we just move on?
Yoda – Notts County
Technically, Notts County aren’t actually the oldest football club in England, but they are the grandad of the top four leagues – even though they’re on the brink of becoming a force ghost of professional football in Britain.
It seems only fitting therefore that Yoda, who was given the title of Grand Master as he was the oldest and wisest member of the Jedi Order, would undoubtedly be a season ticket holder at Meadow Lane.
Darth Sidious – Paris Saint-Germain
The return of the Sith order during the films all stemmed from Darth Sidious, who was posing as just another regular politician before finding himself in a position to take over the galaxy.
Palpatine didn’t care how much it would cost to achieve what he wanted, how many toes he would have to step on, or how many corners he would have to cut to, it was always going to be his self-proclaimed destiny to ‘rule the galaxy’ which prevailed.
On top of that, the Emperor manipulated the once loved Neymar…I mean, Anakin Skywalker, to act as his poster boy while all the dirty work was being done behind the scenes.
Jar Jar Binks – Tottenham Hotspur
Jar Jar Binks, you really are the most useless creation ever in fiction.
He always finds a way to mess things up for everyone around him, and even if something’s given to him on a plate, Jar Jar Brinks is able to defy all the odds by bottling it.
Not even Jar Jar Binks’ own people like him. Not really anyway.
The clumsy Gungan outcast is such a disappointment, and he spends so much time trying to be just like his neighbours, that it’s almost become written in the stars for him to mess up every situation imaginable.
Can anyone else see why he might be a Tottenham Hotspur fan?
Han Solo – Derry City
You’ve got Jack Gallagher to blame for this one, Star Wars fans…
Who does the coolest Star Wars character support? The coolest club in Ireland, that’s who!
With a similarly chequered past to Han Solo – Derry City were ousted from the Irish League in 1972 – the club were given a second chance to prove themselves in the 1980s, and did just that…just like Solo (see, it works).
Derry City would win a treble in 1989 and become one of the most successful clubs in the country’s history; Solo, on the other hand, would save the Galaxy.
Which is better? Who is to say! All we know is Han Solo is cool, and so are Derry City.
Darth Maul – RB Leipzig
So, we’re meant to hate Darth Maul aren’t we? He is the first real Sith that we actually see in the prequels after all.
But if we’re meant to hate him, why did George Lucas have to make him so f****** cool?
Darth Maul has a double-ended lightsaber, he’s the most acrobatic force-user that we’ve ever seen, and quite possibly best of all, he’s red! Like, he’s actually red!
So just like with Germany’s most hated team, it’s almost impossible to actually have any bad feelings towards Darth Maul, even though we know that we should.
Princess Leia – AFC Ajax
There’s very little doubt that Ajax are one of the biggest club in Europe, even if they haven’t always been one of the best.
But once every generation, there’s a perfect storm in Amsterdam which sees de Godenzonen return to the top of the Eredivisie as well as the latter stages of the Champions League.
Their current run has been a long time coming, and just like Princess Leia kept us waiting for a handful of films before we really saw her force powers, this could be the year when Ajax can reclaim European football’s biggest prize for the first time since 1995.
Luke Skywalker – Wolverhampton Wanderers
This one might be the clearest so far, as Mark Hamill actually declared that he does indeed support Wolverhampton Wanderers in 2017.
But just like the galaxy had their hopes resting on Luke Skywalker to defeat the Empire, all eyes are on the West Midlands side to break the so-called top six in the Premier League.
Darth Vader – Manchester United
Darth Vader is arguably the greatest villain ever created.
We never saw just how powerful he was, as his ‘glory days’ came before we saw him on our screens, but we didn’t need too as the Sith Lord had an aura that followed him everywhere he went.
Even after seeing better lightsaber skills and force powers from newer Star Wars characters, none of them have that fear factor that follows Darth Vader everywhere he goes.
But aside from being the one who everyone should be most scared of, it turns out in the grand scheme of things that Darth Vader isn’t really worthy of a place as one of the biggest and best around anymore.